For the sake of discussion the following is a hypothesis, although my intuition is that it is true. There are indeed different groups of ETs, with conflicting purposes, methods and degrees of empathy toward us. But our perception of them as "good" or "evil", warm or contemptuous, is a distortion generated by our own cultural expectations and intense emotional response. What we interpret as violent conflict among their camps is actually a much more subtle and co-creative relationship, a complex tapestry of agreements to disagree. We are as blind to the nuance of this relationship as we are to the colors in the grays' skin.

To be sure, those abductees who feel violated and traumatized have cause. Some ETs are "unfeeling". I believe that is because they vary in their ability to appreciate our pain. Relative to their normal emotional and intellectual context, we are hysterical, infantile, half-wild. It is likely that their sense of individual bodies and psyches is very different from ours. In other words, our sense of personal violation and powerlessness may be as alien to some of them as their callousness is to some of us. None of this makes them evil monsters. If my intuition is reliable the remedy for their brutality is understanding, and the way to achieve it is to communicate through the "nice" ETs. They are mediators, just as on our side abductees are mediators for humanity.